How it started

I didn’t know there is a thing called “communication styles” until I started preparing a Toastmaster speech and I took the quiz, I got 5/12 in Supportive style, 4/12 in Direct style, 2/12 in initiating, 1/12 in analytical. So Supportive and Direct are my dominant communication styles.

It does make sense as much as I know myself, actually they’re pretty much aligned with how I interact with other people in general, I’m glad that they’re aligned. I’m a combination of supportive(shy, indecisive, slow, risk-averse) and Direct(confident, competitive, independent, and risk-taking). Some people might be wondering, how could these two be reconciled in one person? Well, let me explain.

Supportive Style

First the supportive style, in another word as myself noticed, lacking of leadership and initiative. I’m a passionate person in general, I like to talk and engage with others in the area I’m interested in, for example, stock market, programming, psychology etc. But I rarely initialize any conversation or activity I’m passionate about, instead, I would listen to the people around me, and choose whether I should follow. I make my preference and lifestyle quite supple and diverse so I can be quite adaptive with different people, it’s not easy for me to not have a good time.

For example, these days I go to rock climbing twice a week with my roommate Eric because he is kinda passionate about it, he has been doing it since he was a teen, and he is quite good at it. I learned a lot from him, I do enjoy it, I invested a lot of time and energy in it, I can see myself doing it in foreseeable future, but I would probably won’t start without him.

I started semi-serious body building workout because then roommate Bimal was passionate about body building, he has got a quite physique, I was influenced by him, I used to go to gym with him 3 times a week while I was in Charlotte, now I moved out but kept the workout routine by myself.

When I was working in office (before pandemic), my co-worker sitting next to me Jeremy was so passionate about playing Table Tennis, I was influenced by him, I ended up investing lots of time and energy in playing Pingpong with him.

The list could go on and on throughout my life, I like to hang out with passionate person, and I do enjoy being a supportive follower. I do hope one day I could stand up in the limelight and be the leader/influencer and get some followers.

Direct style

Well, there is another side of me, the “direct” me, and I often being called blunt for it. And I’m Okay with it, it’s hard for me to mince words when the hard cold true is in front of my face. I am an empathetic person, it’s not that I don’t feel for others, but my preferred way of handling conflict/confusing/mystery is facing it head on, some people might not like it, and I probably can adjust accordingly when I notice, but that’s not easy or natural for me.

For example, last time in a party one of my friend Bishal approached me and asked a question which he’s asked me many times, “Is this a good time to buy Bitcoin?” I replied without thinking for a second: “Yes, of course it’s a good time, nobody can really time the market, so anytime is a good time! And don’t ask me the same question, please!” He said “Okay” and walked away, I knew he was a bit offended or disappointed, and I’m Okay with it, I wanted to let him know I don’t like it.

Yes, I literally told him “don’t ask me the same question”, which some people might frown upon on this “rudeness”. I wasn’t being rude but just direct in my own view.

It’s not hard to tell when would I being “direct”, that’s when things/topics fall into my passionate area, things/topics I’ve invested a lot.

Sometimes I found myself very opinionated on some ideas, for example, I like CLI tools a lot, Vim is the best editor, I believe in Bitcoin, crypto and Blockchain etc. When things/ideas fall into the very limited area which I’ve invested a lot in, I became confident, emboldened and direct.

In the end

There you have it, for things are not in my specialty or passionate area, I tend to supportive. For things I have confidence or invested heavily in, I tend to be direct.